Are Chris­t­ian Women Like Me Whiners?

I am not a non-​​essential doc­trine. Nei­ther are you. We are breath­ing, liv­ing rep­re­sen­ta­tives of the Cre­ator whom I call God.

Why not just leave and find a church that does prac­tice equal­ity and let go of all this hol­ler­ing?” some have asked. “Why focus your energy on this?”

Keep read­ing …

You are the Universe

I made this col­lage last night with paper from an old hym­nal and other paper sources. I dis­tressed with Tim Holz dis­tress ink and with glazing.

I love to do col­lage art. Espe­cially lately. In my writ­ing cave I have an assort­ment of art sup­plies, of old mag­a­zines and scrap­book­ing paper bun­dles, of dis­tress inks and paints and glaze and ephemera galore. Last night I had a spot of time, and with my renewed rigor to take care of my soul, I gave that time to myself to create.

I never know which direc­tion a col­lage will take me. I don’t know how it will look when it’s done and if you asked me, “What are you mak­ing?” I’d answer, “I don’t know ’til I’m done.”

This is the process of artistry. The artist  has to show up and start doing the deal to dis­cover what the deal is. The art emerges as the artist sur­ren­ders to the cre­ative process. It’s kind of like truth telling. You don’t know what the chain reac­tion is going to look like until to reveal the truth.

In her bril­liant book, The Artist’s Way, writer Julia Cameron says this:

The act of mak­ing art exposes a soci­ety to itself. Art brings things to  light. It illu­mi­nates us. It sheds light on our lin­ger­ing dark­ness. It casts a beam into the heart of our dark­ness and says, “See?” 

I  love that. Art casts light on our dark­ness. This reminds me of the descrip­tion of the cre­ative process described in the first pages of the Bible:

In the begin­ning God cre­ated the heav­ens and the earth.  Now the earth was form­less and empty, darkness was over the sur­face of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hov­er­ing over the waters.And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.  God saw that the light was good,and he sep­a­rated the light from the dark­ness.  God called the light “day,” and the dark­ness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morn­ing — the first day.

We are cre­ative beings, no doubt. When we cre­ate, whether it be art, poetry, a new inven­tion or a home­cooked meal, we are par­tic­i­pat­ing in the cre­ative process of cre­ation itself. Kind of like what Carl Sagan said, “You are the uni­verse expe­ri­enc­ing itself.” 

Cre­ativ­ity is … see­ing some­thing that doesn’t exist already. You need to find out how you can bring it into being and that way be a play­mate with God. — Michele Shea

Women are incred­i­bly cre­ative beings. We pro­cre­ate, we makes nests of our homes and sew quilts. We paint the kitchen and ago­nize over which wall­pa­per is just right for the din­ing room. We learn to sten­cil and cro­chet. We cre­ate scrap­books as mem­ory hold­ers for the fam­ily. We play music and sing lul­la­bies. Women cre­ate ways to make com­mu­nity and explore the bound­aries of friend­ship and heal­ing. Women are ever shift­ing with our art­ful expres­sions. Have you been to Etsy lately? Women have unlim­ited depths of cre­ative power.
For cre­ative power to flow, the artist must be unin­hib­ited, free from the harsh cen­sors within and with­out who tell her, “You have no busi­ness play­ing with paint.”  What is really being said here is, “You have noth­ing worth express­ing.” To shut down the artist is to shut down a part of the uni­verse, of God’s glo­ri­ous cre­ation, from emerg­ing from dark­ness to light. It is to quiet the voice of God with a scold.

There are many forces at work in a woman’s life to quench her artistry. She will face these drag­ons of doubt from the crib to the grave.  This is why we need one another. We need to enter the arena of self-​​doubt and help our sis­ters slay the mon­sters.  When fear keeps a woman uncre­ative it is like a poet who has lost her voice or  a blog­ger her blog.   But here’s the rub : when drag­ons come upon us to block our way, we must then not set­tle for defend­ing our space, but find new ways of cre­at­ing as we stare into those red glow­ing eyes that would kill us. Make the dragon a friend to the art. Slay the dragon with courage and dis­cover that under the roar is fear want­ing to be free. A slayed dragon is courage born.

There is a vital­ity, a life force, an energy, a quick­en­ing  that is trans­lated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expres­sion is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. — Martha Graham


Do not under­es­ti­mate the power of your cre­ativ­ity. What you make, what you cre­ate, is only pos­si­ble by You. No one else can make it like you. I can’t sew like Ari­anna, or paint like Deb­o­rah. I col­lage much dif­fer­ent than Kelli Rae and I sure as hell can’t cook like Paula, or dec­o­rate like Martha. But with the drag­ons befriended I can col­lage like Pam, I can write and blog in the unique voice that is mine alone, I can sto­ry­tell like no other. Art helps me recover my lost cre­ative soul. Art helps me recover my buried self. The artis­tic process is then an act of spir­i­tual heal­ing that rejoins the frac­tured soul with the uni­verse.  We are meant to Cre­ate the Uni­verse with God. 

So what about you? How are you express­ing the uni­verse through cre­ativ­ity? Feel free to add links to pho­tos, blog posts, etc… that show your cre­ativ­ity in action. Let’s inspire one another!

My Sis­ter, My Self {guest post from Char­ity Jill Erickson}

Blog­ging can be a rather iso­lat­ing expe­ri­ence as you write your post and then for­mat it. Typ­i­cally I do this all alone from the soli­tary con­fines of my writ­ing cave. When my friend and fel­low blog­ger Kathy Esco­bar, men­tioned col­lab­o­ra­tion to me, I real­ized it was time to  invite other blog­gers and writ­ers to guest post on this blog. It is another way of build­ing up my vir­tual com­mu­nity as well as intro­duc­ing my read­ers to other voices.

If you are inter­ested in writ­ing a blog post, EMAIL ME with a request for guide­lines. I’d love to hear from you!

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When Char­ity pitched her story idea to me, I loved it right away. She writes about how our per­cep­tions of one another are not always kind or even accu­rate. That res­onates with me. I have to admit that I’ve mis­judged folks many times and failed to see our com­mon­al­ity.  Read on  and dis­cover how Char­ity found out how appear­ances are not always what they seem. 

It was my first bach­e­lorette affair, and it was the whole sto­ried deal: party bus, cham­pagne toasts, and a cou­ple of girls who went whoo-​​hoo! at a pitch fre­quency that made me want to lobot­o­mize myself with the penis straw in my drink.

The bride-​​to-​​be was my friend Angel­ica. She befriended all sorts. Dur­ing col­lege we had bonded over our rejected fun­da­men­tal­ist her­itage, shar­ing a dis­il­lu­sion­ment that even­tu­ally gave way to a more ten­able  hope. Angel­ica was my kind of Christian. But Angelica’s old­est friend from her evan­gel­i­cal days, fellow-​​bachelorette-​​partier-​​Sarah, was not. She was a tall, thin, worship-​​leading god­dess with lively Rapun­zel locks.

Sarah liked Mark Driscoll and cited Fox News. Her  hus­band was a model. (Really!) Like many women with noth­ing in com­mon, we treated each other with passive-​​aggressive judgment.

At the bach­e­lorette party there was lin­gerie, there was wine, and there were male gen­i­talia party favors. My gift to Angel­ica was a book: The Joy of Sex by Dr. Alex Com­fort. I had come across it while doing research for my own upcom­ing nup­tials (which included anx­ious Googling of, “What does a nor­mal vagina look like?”)  I told you — I  grew up evangelical.

Oohh,” said Sarah, when she saw the book cover, “Is the author related to Ray Comfort?”

(Ray Com­fort is  the Thelma to  Kirk Cameron’s Louise on the evan­gel­i­cal cir­cuit. He prob­a­bly had some part in train­ing the street evan­ge­list who last harassed you.)

Ray Com­fort. I laughed. It came out loud, and a lit­tle more mean than I intended. Sarah’s half-​​smile faded. Oh no, I thought. God let her miss that obvi­ous bit of deri­sion. And for­give me for being deri­sive. It’s just she’s such a skinny con­ser­v­a­tive bitch.

I didn’t see her again until Angelica’s wed­ding recep­tion, where we exchanged thin smiles and sat back-​​to-​​back at dif­fer­ent tables. As I held hands with my soon-​​to-​​be hus­band, Sarah and her hus­band were hav­ing a tense exchange. I watched him leave the ball­room while  she went after him.  In her haste, her skirt rum­pled and rode up her legs expos­ing the garter belt atop her thigh-​​high fishnets.

I’d heard that Sarah had mar­ried young, and that they had been hav­ing a hard time.I looked down at my fiancé’s hand.God knows what they might be deal­ing with, I thought as I con­sid­ered my own upcom­ing wed­ding.  My heart soft­ened a bit for a bit for Sarah.

I rec­og­nized myself in Sarah.

I felt some­thing unex­pected as I watched her walk away,  as her mar­riage and her garter belt became exposed  at the recep­tion: Identification.

We were both raised evan­gel­i­cal. We both were purity-​​raised girls try­ing to nav­i­gate our fem­i­nin­ity in a porno­graphic world. Des­per­ate to do right by God and man, we looked to author­i­ties to tem­per our vulnerability.

I rec­og­nized myself in Sarah. We were  two Christ-​​following  women fum­bling our way through love, sex and faith.  She was doing the best she could  just as I was.

We were  dif­fer­ent in many ways, but in the deep­est parts of our iden­ti­ties and  hopes, we were, after all still sis­ters in Christ. Evan­gel­i­cal or not.

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Char­ity (Jill) Erick­son works from home run­ning an online busi­ness along­side her hus­band Lance and her schnau­zers Zeke and Boaz (they are very good accoun­tants.) Find her blog HERE where she uses gen­tle cul­tural cri­tique  through the lens of fem­i­nism and  through the lens of Christ. Her tag line is, “I’ve been a bad evan­gel­i­cal.

Big THANK YOU to Char­ity for being my guest blog­ger today. Remem­ber, you can too. Just email me!

Does Charity’s story res­onate with you as it has for me? She found some­thing to iden­tify with “the other” and in doing so her per­spec­tive changed. What are some other ways that help us let go of judg­ing one another? Would love to hear your thoughts!!

I Will Show Up to Your Fight (but not to my own)

Pam, will you help me?” asked a ter­ri­fied look­ing ninth-​​​​grader.  “There’s a bunch of girls who say they’re going to kick my ass after school.  No one will go with me. Will you come?” I was 14-​​​​years old. I was a pim­ply faced intro­vert who could count her friends on one hand. When she told me who she was up against, anx­i­ety flooded my gut like a undammed river. I was scared of those girls. They were the mean­est, tough­est hard­est girls in the school. And she had some­how pissed them off. I couldn’t say no. There was some­thing in me, some … Keep read­ing …

A Year of Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood — Review, Inter­view & Book Giveaway!!!


Look below for details how you can win!

Last year is when I first heard about a strange project : a Ten­nessee blog­ger was embark­ing on a one-​​year com­mit­ment to live out the bib­li­cal direc­tives aimed at women as an effort to demon­strate “bib­li­cal wom­an­hood.” The result is Rachel Held Evans’ new book, A Year of Bib­li­cal
Wom­an­hood : How a Lib­er­ated Woman Found Her­self Sit­ting on Her Roof, Cov­er­ing Her Head, and Call­ing Her Hus­band Mas­ter.
( I love long titles! Seri­ously, I do!)

Rachel’s book is a record of dif­fer­ent antics she sub­mit­ted her­self to as she took the words of the Bible lit­er­ally. Pas­sages like Proverbs 31 where the vir­tu­ous woman is described as being the ulti­mate domes­tic god­dess who man­ages her house­hold with the skill of Martha Stew­art is one exam­ple. Rachel deter­mined that to try to emu­late the Proverbs 31 woman she would need to brush up on her domes­tic skills. Armed with a Martha Stew­art cook­book, she set out to learn how to cook meals that were far above her reper­toire. This may sound silly, but every good Chris­t­ian woman knows that home­mak­ing and kitchen tal­ent is cod­i­fied in the col­lec­tive con­scious of the faith­ful. Rachel notes this by quot­ing con­tribut­ing writer, Dorothy Pat­ter­son from the guide on tra­di­tional roles, Recov­er­ing Bib­li­cal Man­hood and Wom­an­hood.
She writes:

This photo from Rachel’s web­site shows her with a pan of freshly made “matza tof­fee.writes:

(Pat­ter­son) con­cludes from these two pas­sages that “keep­ing the house is God’s assign­ment to the wife – even down to chang­ing the sheets, doing the laun­dry, and scrub­bing the floors.” Ambi­tions that might lead a woman to work out­side the home, says Pat­ter­son, con­sti­tute the kind of “evil desires” that lead directly to sin. — A Year of Bib­li­cal Womanhood

It is this world­view that Rachel deter­mined to chal­lenge, and rather than stop with a few well-​​written blog posts, she thought of a cre­ative way to really get her point across while at the same time brush­ing up on her cook­ing skills, a bonus accord­ing to hus­band Dan.

Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood, as I call this book to keep it short and sim­ple, is a smart and humor­ous jour­ney of a curi­ous writer who chooses to wres­tle out one of the most polar­iz­ing issues in the Amer­i­can church today : the role of women. Early in the book, Rachel describes her South­ern upbring­ing in a churched fam­ily that was not rigid about tra­di­tional roles. She men­tions her mom a few times through­out the book. “The only peo­ple who enjoy potlucks are men. Women do all the work,” says her mom writes Rachel.

These glimpses of Rachel’s grow­ing up years and later her col­lege years gives con­text to how the church shaped her per­spec­tive on the debate of women and roles and lead­er­ship and also to why this is such an impor­tant issue to Rachel. She is a cham­pion for women’s equality.

The book is funny. Rachel has some great one liner’s pep­pered through­out the book, sort of remind­ing me of humor writer, Erma Bombeck Rachel’s humor is inci­sive, yet not sharp. Like this quip:

We evan­gel­i­cals have a nasty habit of throw­ing the word bib­li­cal around like it’s Mar­tin Luther’s mid­dle name.

Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood is a fast read. All through­out the sto­ry­telling and sur­prise zingers, Rachel shares her reflec­tions about the stereo­typ­i­cal Chris­t­ian woman. She dis­man­tles it, bit by frilly bit, show­ing that under­neath the rules and roles and pre­sump­tions about Bible com­mands, that there is no one-​​size fits all bib­li­cal woman tem­plate. For some read­ers, this is not a rush of rev­e­la­tion. But for a Ten­nessee blog­ger find­ing her way through the jun­gle of rhetoric as the war on women wages within (and out­side) the church, Rachel does many women a great ser­vice by show­cas­ing how absurd it is for all women (let alone any woman!) to try to live up to an ideal that we were never meant to live up to in the first place. This is a pow­er­house of a book writ­ten with can­dor, humor and just the right amount of the­ol­ogy to keep it from get­ting bogged down. I hap­pily rec­om­mend it.

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I was able to catch Rachel before her whirl­wind pro­mo­tion of her book kicked in. Here is a short email inter­view she kindly agreed to. Be sure to check out details at the end of the inter­view of how you can win a free copy of her book. We have three to give away!

Me: At the end of A Year of Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood, you write that you were look­ing for a story when you embarked on your project and the story you found was a deep desire for per­mis­sion to be a woman. A Year of Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood project helped free you from need­ing per­mis­sion to be a woman and to Just Be. What were some key moments that led to this realization?

Rachel : One of the most lib­er­at­ing parts of the exper­i­ment for me was redis­cov­er­ing the sto­ries of cel­e­brated women from Scrip­ture — and not just the ones we hear about grow­ing up in Sun­day school, but women like Deb­o­rah, Hul­dah, Jael, Miriam, Vashti, Ruth, Esther, Mary of Bethany, Mary Mag­da­lene, Junia, Priscilla, Tabitha and Phoebe. What I found was that each of these women hon­ored God in a dif­fer­ent way, that they showed incred­i­ble brav­ery and faith that tran­scended their cul­ture, their cir­cum­stances, and their sta­tus as women in a patri­ar­chal world.

Chris­t­ian women are often told that their lives should look like car­bon copies of the woman cel­e­brated in Proverbs 31, and too often, the focus is on the ele­ments of that acros­tic poem that fea­ture the domes­tic accom­plish­ments of an upper-​​class ancient Near East­ern wife (keep­ing the home, pro­vid­ing food for the fam­ily, weav­ing from dawn until dark). But that misses the point of the text entirely! Proverbs 31 is not a to-​​list describ­ing what a woman is sup­posed to get done in a given day; it’s a poem cel­e­brat­ing what a woman has already accom­plished! It’s meant to honor a woman’s daily acts of valor, which is why the poem begins, “a woman of valor who can find?” (The Hebrew is eshet chayil — woman of valor).

What’s inter­est­ing is that the bib­li­cal hero­ine Ruth too is iden­ti­fied as a “woman of valor” (eshet chayil). And she is iden­ti­fied as such before is mar­ried, before she has chil­dren, and before she had a pot to pee in. In fact, you could argue that Ruth had the oppo­site lifestyle of the Proverbs 31 woman, since she was poor, wid­owed, and childless….and yet she too is iden­ti­fied as a “woman of valor.”

So as my explo­ration of these women went on, I began to see that being a woman of valor isn’t about what you do, but how you do it. It’s not about squeez­ing into a mold or a par­tic­u­lar lifestyle; it’s about liv­ing your life with char­ac­ter and brav­ery. It’s about liv­ing your life as the woman God cre­ated you to be.

Me: In your intro and through­out your book, you refer to your mom who pro­vided you with a Chris­t­ian upbring­ing. All the sto­ries about your child­hood sug­gest that though the mes­sag­ing of ide­al­ized bib­li­cal wom­an­hood was absorbed in church and rein­forced in col­lege, this was not the case in your home. Did you have con­ver­sa­tions at home with your mother or sis­ter about these things dur­ing your grow­ing up years? What about now? What did your mom think of your bib­li­cal wom­an­hood project ?

Rachel: My mom is awe­some. She never really fit into the per­ceived mold of the South­ern Chris­t­ian woman, and I love her for that! (She used to com­plain about how men were the only ones who enjoyed church potlucks because the women were always stuck doing all the work.) So I think I got a lot of my…chutzpah…from her, and I’m grate­ful. She and my dad have shown unwa­ver­ing sup­port for me, even when my pas­sion for gen­der equal­ity in the Church has set me at odds with evan­gel­i­cal lead­ers who are respected in their cir­cles. Same goes for my sis­ter, who, even though she is younger than me, I look up to as a model of valor and grace. We Held women have always been opin­ion­ated and strong, and we’ve always sur­rounded our­selves with men who aren’t intim­i­dated by that. So I think gen­der equal­ity has hap­pened nat­u­rally in our homes. The trick is see­ing it played out in the church.

Me: Your book is some­what mem­oiresque con­cern­ing your mar­riage. Your hus­band Dan is fea­tured a lot in the book includ­ing excerpts from his jour­nal dur­ing the time of your wom­an­hood project. In some ways, your book is as much about mar­riage as it is about a woman’s iden­tity. Did you intend this or is that where the writ­ing took you?

Rachel: We knew from the begin­ning that the project would turn a spot­light on our mar­riage, and we were a lit­tle ner­vous about that at first. But what the project did, in the end, was remind us of how happy we are func­tion­ing as a team of equal part­ners rather than as a hier­ar­chy. When I took some of those “sub­mis­sion” pas­sages lit­er­ally and out of con­text (as com­ple­men­tar­i­ans tend to do), Dan was just as uncom­fort­able as I was impos­ing a gender-​​based hier­ar­chy onto our mar­riage, believe me. At one point he “ordered” me to stop sub­mit­ting! So we both emerged from the project more appre­cia­tive of our rela­tion­ships, and happy to get back to nor­mal and just be our­selves. Impos­ing hier­ar­chy onto a part­ner­ship is dis­ori­ent­ing and unnec­es­sary, and I ache or all the cou­ples who feel like they have to do that because some­one told them that the Bible requires it.

Me: Every writer I know har­bors hopes and fears for the books they write. What are some of the hopes and fear you have for this book?

Rachel: I hope that A Year of Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood will make peo­ple laugh. It includes a bunch of funny sto­ries (and pic­tures!) from my adven­tures in fol­low­ing all the Bible’s instruc­tions for women as lit­er­ally as pos­si­ble for a year…so I hope it enter­tains! I also hope that it helps lib­er­ate women from this idea that there’s just one right way to be a woman of faith, that “bib­li­cal wom­an­hood” means keep­ing the home and sub­mit­ting to men.

My fear, of course, is that it will be mis­un­der­stood. I think every writer wor­ries about that. I fear that peo­ple will judge it with­out read­ing it, that they will think I’m mak­ing fun of the Bible, when noth­ing could be fur­ther from the truth. I took on this project pre­cisely because I love the Bible, and I was tired of see­ing it reduced to a list of rules and roles when it came to some­thing as impor­tant and beau­ti­ful as womanhood.

Many thanks to Rachel for offer­ing my blog read­ers some insights into her book. For more info about A Year of Bib­li­cal Wom­an­hood check out Rachel’s blog, and if you don’t already sub­scribe to it, Do It !!

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Rachel’s pub­lisher has offered to mail a book to three read­ers of this blog. So cool, right?!

Here’s what you need to do to try to score one of these copies:

  • Leave a com­ment Tell me what you think of this idea of “bib­li­cal womanhood.”


  • Sub­scribe to this blog If you aren’t already sub­scribed here’s a LINK to make that easy for you. Be sure you’re sub­scribed to the blog and not just my newslet­ter. Only sub­scribed read­ers are eli­gi­ble to win.


I will choose three com­men­tors based entirely on my sub­jec­tive pow­ers. Get your com­ment posted by Thurs­day, 12:00pm PST time. Click here to con­vert your time. Win­ners announced in Friday’s post. I will email win­ners for your mail­ing addresses to for­ward to the publisher.

Super excited. This is the first time I’ve offered a book give­away. I look for­ward to your com­ments. Who knew bib­li­cal wom­an­hood could be such a hot topic?

***POST UPDATE***

Here’s the LINK to see the winners!

RePost : My Inner Teenager

**I reread this old post from last year and it kinda tugged at my heart a bit. Thought it would be good to dust it off and repost it here for any new read­ers who may have missed it.  I am a clumsy friend. I sort of stag­ger into rela­tion­ships, hop­ing for the best though nearly always feel­ing deeply inse­cure with the one I’m try­ing to get to know. Most peo­ple have an inner child that oozes out unre­solved child­hood anx­i­eties, or a critic in their head who tells them why they can’t do any­thing right. Me? I have a … Keep read­ing …